Store Rants

I’m related to many entrepreneurs. At least six of them run their own business… quite successfully, too. Most of them don’t do a lot of marketing. This majority has zero graphic design, PR or marketing experience… but they make up for it in excellent customer service, word of mouth and the fact that they’ve been around for dozens of years.

I think I’m somewhere in the middle. I have some PR and graphic design experience, but don’t have the time to make a campaign out of it. So, I relied heavily on word of mouth for my brick and mortar. And this was based on the fact that I had good prices, was unique in my area and I offered great customer service. I’m hoping that, moving forward, I can either hire someone to do my PR and marketing, or set aside time to really work on it and do more research. And now with twitter, blogging etc… it may be easier to reach more people, but it’s very time consuming to promote your business, especially since you have to be consistent and come up with new ideas, compete with thousands of other blogs and tweets and constantly find new ways to keep your audience interested! It’s part giveaways, tips, gorgeous pictures, rants and maybe for some… it’s boobs.

There are a few younger entrepreneurs in the family who… have relied on creative or extreme marketing and stretching the truth to get ahead. I don’t know how I feel about this.

One young relative markets and promotes Las Vegas parties with hot chicks, sex phone chat line things with hot chicks and iphone apps with hot chicks. He does this by plastering pictures of himself on a boat, in a limo or in a club with a dozen hot chicks, tons of booze and… boobs… did I mention that there are a TON of boobs involved? It’s not classy, but maybe it’s totally honest? Boobs… are honest (?). Oh, and you will never ever EVER see him in a photo with someone who isn’t totally HOT. It’s all hot, all the time. But… I still think it’s borderline asshole marketing since he’s one steel drum away from that Girls Gone Wild jerk. (Or I’m bitter that I’m not naked on a boat somewhere getting Cristal poured all over me, too… whatever). So… to recap… “Being surrounded by Boob” marketing. It sells… but has a twist of shame involved. I still don’t know HOW he makes enough money to own three homes and a few boats. The family swears up and down it’s not full out pornography… but I still don’t know WHAT he does specifically. Is this good self-promotion or… not? (Sidenote… when I see him on the boat with 15 big-breasted chicks, all I can think is… perfect flotation devices if the ship goes down… grab onto the chicks! Obviously, I’m not a teenage boy.)

One relative narrowly missed going to jail due to some incorrect labeling on some items that were supposed to get safety approval. Barely barely got away with it. I still don’t know if there were total and complete lies involved… but the whole thing was shady. That business was shut down, but a spin-off business doing almost the exact same thing came out of it. Benefit of the doubt here. Same relative has mentioned the fact that another person in this circle has lied on the books to make a business look more lucrative than it really is so they could sell it at a higher profit. I’m not very close to this person or the person they are speaking of… but the business practices here make me really want to distance myself. Full on lies, here.

One other relative markets herself… with lies. Lied on her resume, lied in interviews, lied on the radio, giggled and lied,… lied lied lied. Name drop LIES. Career LIES. She’s gotten great jobs and lots of positive attention from it. It makes me feel dirty. Fake boobs, fake resume and LIES. (Again, maybe I’m bitter with the boat and Cristal thing… I dunno). What happens if someone actually fact checks some of this?!? Perhaps… I need to focus on my own stuff… but I’m rolling my eyes as I do.

So… here I am… with an honest business sans multiple pairs of silicon boobs… could I lie to self promote? Could I shamelessly plug my business and sprinkle in some celebrity names to get ahead? If I knew one lie or a series of lies could put my business on the map… could I do it?

If you have lied about something to propel your business to the next level… did it work? How did you feel about it?

To clarify… I’ve lied at my store before. If someone obnoxiously asks me in a sad “did-your-dog-die” voice with big eyes, painfully stretched out mouth and teeth clenched (you know the face)… “How is your business doing?” I lie. I tell them that it’s fantastic, better than ever, we’ll be here forever. Why? Because it’s none of their business. I didn’t have to lie on the good months, but during the bad ones… they didn’t need to know. So yes, I have lied. But for the right reasons (I think). But I would not have lied about a product or if a celebrity loved said product.

And another thing to ponder… if you are self promoting to market your business, is this a great idea? Entrepreneurial gurus like Gary Vaynerchuk turned selling wine into being a small business god by self promoting and became an “internet celebrity” because of it. (Thank you, wikipedia). I knew about him because he talked about business first… only later did I find out that he was a wine expert. It was a bit confusing.

Martha Stewart self promotes and promotes a perfect home… and she just happens to sell the tools to do so. Her strategy has worked out brilliantly. But that’s not the route I want to take.

I often wonder if my blog readers want to hear about arts and crafts, or hear about me and my retail store journey? I normally got more hits and comments on my blog, on average, on a rant about owning a store over me talking about some new bird houses I got in or how to organize your closet. They wanted to hear about the ups and downs of business. But, do I want to write books on running and owning a store? I dunno. It’s not my passion (although I sort of love bitching about it). So… why would I blog about my experiences and not just market my product?? How much do I reveal to my customers… how much do they really want to know about ME and my experiences?? What would actually translate into profit?

I’ve gone to many other artists’ blogs and noticed that they will blog about other artists. Does this work? Sending your readers to a competitor… doesn’t sound smart??

Because my new business is MY art… should I promote myself or my work or both? How much of it is ME and how much is the product? How much of it is just over-exaggerating the truth (i.e… “We’ve sold THOUSANDS of these… but not really“), how much is just being a shameless, self-promoting, ego-maniac and how much of it necessary to grow your business. Argh.

So, I need to find a balance. Mix a bit of me, mostly art and add in a few other stories along the way. I need to ignore the entrepreneurs I’m surrounded by and find my own way… unless I want to use boobs. I know where to get lots of those… cheap.

So… it’s July and I’m only 75% done with the designs for my card line.

On Memorial weekend, my husband (and I) decided that a change of scenery was in order because one of us was going crazy not being close to, uh hem, his friends and old stomping grounds. So, we drove to our home town and stayed there for 2 months.

He can work (and gets a steady paycheck) from any location with an internet connection.

I, on the other hand… did not have my computer or scanner or any way to do layouts. I also didn’t have my huge amount of inventory and so I had to close my online shops while we were gone… not making a dime for two months, but incurred merchant fees… which is just super.

I did have paint… but I didn’t get much done because I didn’t have all my normal supplies or place to paint.

I am *so* angry about this. (Mostly at myself).

Because my business doesn’t make as much as his “career”, it was assumed that I could close shop, stop production, stop all marketing and let everything come to a screeching halt as long as his paycheck was coming in. There isn’t a lot of respect for my business… but I think it’s because he has no idea what I do and little idea of how much I make. It’s not nearly as much as him at this point… But, I do contribute to the household (Although one year at my brick and mortar, I netted quite a bit more than he does in a year… so… neener neener).

Yes, I could have put my foot down, YES I could have stayed here. Looking back, I should have done both. Looking back even further I should have done a lot more things to keep my brick and mortar afloat. BUT… I learned something here. And you should, too.

Business before all else (except the kids and health things… I suppose). If you work from home or have an online business at home, you’ll need to defend it, protect it, nurture it and move it along EVERY DAY. I’m guilty of neglect… and I’m working to change that. But… I’m even more guilty of putting the needs of others before my business. You, my friend… DO NOT let this happen.

I think I’ve said this a million times… I let my people pleasing RUIN my business. I gave unwarranted discounts and listened to hundreds of hours of my customers’ problems and pleased people who were assholes to me and/or didn’t buy a whole lot. It hurt my business. I should have set rules and grown a stronger backbone to deal with these situations. Maybe that’s my lesson in life… to stop the people pleasing and do what’s fair and right for me and my business. Bah. Lame.

So… why does a home based business suck? You have to defend it and defend your time with it. You’ll have to defend your lack of days off and maybe why you didn’t get the laundry done that day. You can’t blame your boss or say “I was stuck at work”… because people will never believe you because they think you can leave whenever you want. Seriously, I’ve been there. YOU are the voice of your business… and you’ll have to have a loud and strong voice. And a strong inner voice, too. I felt guilty ALL THE TIME for missing Thanksgiving dinners, family get-togethers and sleeping through brunch with my friends because it was my only day off. I hurt my business to keep everyone else happy… and… frankly, I got lazy. I’d rather hurt me and my business then have to argue, explain, rationalize and fight with friends and loved ones. I was told that I was selfish for working too much… and I totally believed it.

Back to my domestic drama… So, on top of the change of scenery, my husband has decided he wants to move. I’m not on board. And I’m sort of angry about this, too.

In order to get our finances in order… there is talk of me finding a full time desk job to save up money for said move. I’m also supposed to paint our house back to a white box, list said house, sell all my current inventory to clear out room (so that I don’t have to move it) and put my card line on hold, or do it in the evenings.

So… to recap… I closed my brick and mortar store because my husband was nudging and pushing for us to move here. He wrote an ESSAY to why we should move, citing that the state we were leaving was going bankrupt, it was dirty and icky, the new state was 100 times awesomer and everyone would get a pony. We bought a house that I LOVE in this new state. Now that we’ve been here a few years, he wants to move back and start over in said bankrupt state.

In other words… I have to give up my house with the white picket fence and my damn pony and star in my own hell version of Nine to Five or Office Space so he can get what he wants.

I’m more than angry… I’m sort of pissed.

On one hand… I get that he wants to move back, possibly pursue his new shiny dream career in show business and enjoy his midlife crisis to its full extent. On the other hand, I changed my entire life to move here and support my husband, who still has a great career that is stable and pays well but is now “boring… and stupid”.

It took me 2 years and a dozen hours of therapy to be okay with this new area. Now he gets a hair up his ass and thinks everything is going to change.

So, that’s that. And I have no idea what I’m going to do. All I know is that I’m angry and making art is the last thing I feel like doing.

I guess I can do some mundane photoshop work… not creative, but needs to be done. That and tune up my resume.

There are more rants coming… this week is gonna be full of them!

So, this is taking a lot longer than I thought.

Of course I’ve been changing and rearranging my designs. Agonizing over color choices, layouts etc. It’s irritating, really.

Sprinkled in-between my creative bursts and moments of high productivity, I’ve worked on other things, organized my office, cleaned the house and found other things to aid in my procrastination. And while painting, my mind wanders to other inwardly-focused (aka self involved) issues like my childhood, how much I despise my father, etc. Not something I want to shine through in my art! (unless I want to start a line of dysfunctional cards… telling off your family, absentee parent, drunk uncle etc. The world needs an anti-Hallmark I tell you! I’m already producing the anti-Hallmark commercials in my head to counteract the estrogen-infused guilt-ridden Hallmark commercials of yesteryear. You know exactly what I’m talking about).

Then I’ll flip through a magazine and see other art and drown my sorrows in a venti latte and some cookie dough… convincing myself that my line of cards isn’t “good enough”, inventive enough etc. “How can I compete, I’m just one person!”

And other nonsense.

So… once I take off my highly self critical artist hat, I need to put on my marketing hat. How do I promote my line and stand out from other vendors? What, besides my incredible OCD and use of color, will help me stand out from the rest?

Road block… I will get past ye.

So, I spent this week doing a little bit of procrastinating, started another fire in my domestic life that I had to put out (lame) and did some design work on my new line.

I spend my mornings finding busywork to do, I’m not sure why. It’s like… even though I *love* to do art, I don’t wanna. I’m not sure what my problem is.

So, out of the 30 cards I want to do, I’ve completed nearly one and have the layout of 4 all set up. That’s it.

I cranked out designs in art school and I worked circles around myself at the shop… so this is annoying. I keep finding other things to obsess on like envelope prices and colors, suppliers, and ordering things that I don’t need right now. And ebay… obsessing on my inventory on ebay (which frankly, might be a waste of time at this point).

Oh, and I’ve spent countless hours checking out the competition for pricing structure and overall branding. aka… should I try to be more high end and sell less cards at a higher price or just crank them out at a buck or two each. Branding branding branding. For about a dozen years my “brand” is handmade, not stuffy, a smidge of elegant but mostly quirky, whimsical (I hate the overuse of this word) and never ever “perfect”.

And have I mentioned that I am my own marketing team and PR department? I don’t have time to work on an image/persona/edge. Maybe that’s phase 2.

So… I think right now my biggest hurdle is myself. It’s like… every layout I put together looks “good”, but it’s not “great” (to me). And once I commit to them and have a catalog printed… there they shall stay, forever. (but not really).

So… I need to spend today convincing myself that my line will change, that I won’t have to commit to any one design forever. To stop being so hypercritical and just trust that I know what I’m doing. Ugh.

Evolve. Start small, best foot forward (without tripping yourself or paralyzing yourself in fear) and just… evolve.

Thanks for the pep talk, self… (artists, geesh!)

I spent last week doing art, sketching out layouts of my new card line.

I’m almost ready to start putting stuff together… still need to do more art.

In the middle of the creative process, I had to deal with some extreme weather in our area, helping out a friend with her business challenges and I’ve also been working on changes in my ebay store.

Ebay announced that those without a store would see a fee hikes and changes on April 16th, and those with a store will see things changing over the next few months. I didn’t want to wait, I changed everything.

Coincidentally, my ebay sales have been at a standstill over the last 3 weeks. I’ve had TWO sales. TWO! Normally I do at least a few sales a day, so this… is disconcerting.

I’ve also been changing things around and cleaning up my website. I want to have all my ducks in a row since I’m launching a new business.

I’m on the fence with the idea of liquidating my current inventory or just… letting it sell slowly and still get some profit.

While sitting in a waiting room today, I read the most interesting PDF on ebay selling strategies… bit of an eye opener. And, it’s a wee bit old, but I think there is still a lot of useful information in here. It’s a PDF and I couldn’t figure out how to link to it, but it came from this website. I’ll paste the entire article here:

Successful eBay Selling Strategies
Don Lancaster
Synergetics, Box 809, Thatcher, AZ 85552

copyright c2003 as GuruGram #25

http://www.tinaja.com don@tinaja.com
(928) 428-4073

In previous GuruGrams and Blatant Opportunists, we’ve looked at a number of eBay related topics. These have included My Ebay Secrets, Son of eBay Secrets, Imaginative Images, Step-by-Step Image Prep, and My eBay Photo Secrets. Along with The Live Auction Scene and others in our Auction Help library.

What I thought I’d do here is go over some of the stuff that seems to be working towards my successfully running a nearly full time eBay selling venture. Let’s look at some of the concepts…

Offer unique products not available elsewhere.

If competitors offer the same product you do, the laws of supply and demand are certain to cause one seller to panic and totally trash the final selling prices. Your first and foremost defense against market trashing is to be the sole source of the items you sell on eBay.

Until our recent sellout, we were eBay’s foremost supplier of water soluble swimsuits. Other items that continue to do well are our mint nuclear holocost fashion accessories, quality test equipment, specialty medical items, tinfoil hat liners, high end telecom parts, dimpled chad, and industrial sensors.

Be a manic and evangelical expert in those products.

Only sell stuff that you thorughly know. Items that you feel extremely strongly about and have centered your lifestyle on. Strive to have your companion website become the definitive resource for those items. Avoid the deadly trap of overestimating value of items you are not familiar with.

The key test is whenever you are approaching two total strangers, the one fervently whispers to the other “Whatever you do, don’t mention (your specialty)”.

Maximize your personal value added.

Everything you do on eBay should have a goal of gaining the highest possible prices over the longest possible time. You do this by spending more time and effort on the things you are good at. Perfecting ad copy, photo images, product cleaning/testing/refurb/upgrade, quality packaging, and prompt delivery.

Most eBay prices are well below wholesale, and wholesale buying involves quantities that are far beyond what can be sold on eBay in a reasonable time frame at reasonable risk without utterly trashing prices. Thus “buying wholesale” and reselling on eBay is almost always a hilarious joke. One that is certain to cause you grief. Especially if you have competitors.

A successful eBay venture simply does not permit paying for your merchandise. Instead, you must seek out extreme distress situations. Always work towards a 30:1 or higher sell/buy ratio. Thus, for a $20 item on eBay, you should never pay more than sixty seven cents. This will typically translate to paying between one-sixth to one-third of a penny on the original dollar.
Note that the sell/buy ratio is not your profit margin! Some items will never sell, some will be defective, some will need major refurb, and some will be outright disasters. Not to mention storage and hauling charges. Or the time and money involved in actually running a serious business.

It used to be that you could buy for a penny on a dollar, sell for a dime on the dollar and possibly (with extreme effort) make as much as a nine percent profit in the process. But eBay clearly prohibits such lavish excesses.

The merch MUST have taken a STAGGERING hit in value!

The eBay buyer is looking for a tremendous bargain. So are you as an eBay seller. There simply is not enough room in the cash flow pie to allow whoever is selling you the merchandise to make a profit. At least not one based on the actual value of the items being sold.

Sources that seem to work well for me include privatized military surplus, rural community college auctions, dotbomb failures, and business bankruptcies. Uh, obviously others on eBay are doing well with yard sales and Grandma’s attic. But these are unlikely to end up as high volume sustainable sources. Except possibly on a total lifestyle basis.
Always seek out a minimum 30:1 sell/buy ratio.

A key rule: If more than five percent of your buy offers are accepted, you are paying way too much. Naturally, you can make up for this by making offers on twenty times the amount of stuff that you could possibly move.

Always aim for a 21 day payback.

If you cannot pay for your items in 21 days, the chances are you will never be able to do so. Should you reach your 30:1 sell/buy ratio, this means that you only need to sell a little over three percent of your inventory immediately.

For several reasons, a last in first out policy makes a lot of sense. You are unlikely to forget about something if you deal with it now. Forgotten junk has a way of piling up and burning storage and interest costs. Try to have all of your primary long term inventory fully paid for and completely written off. Storing dollars in disguise that you owe somebody else makes no sense whatsoever.

The minimum profitable eBay sale is $19.63.

It never ceases to amaze me when someone buys something for a dollar, sells it on eBay for three, and assumes they made any profit at all, let alone 200%. Prison wages are far higher than such a transaction. A detailed analysis on why $19.63 is the magic sales floor number appears in MOREEBAY.PDF.

Low selling prices also tend to have proportionately higher shipping charges and far more buyer hassles. In general, we find that buyer complaints are inversely proportional to the cube of their total cost.

You are highly unlikely to be able to keep ten dollars on a $19.63 sale. If you plot the hyperbolic curves of income versus profit involved, you will find they all go to hell in a handbasket below certain threshold values.
Which is why you must…

List at least seventy eBay items at once.

If you truly can clear a net-net profit of ten dollars per item (highly unlikely but theoretically possible with a $19.63 minimum sale), 70 items listed for 7 days each will clear at the rate of 10 per day. If you are very lucky, perhaps 7 of these will actually sell on current listing. Producing a daily income of $70, or somewhere around $21,000.00 per year. A figure right at poverty level and not all that much above prison wages.

A more detailed analysis appears in MOREEBAY.PDF.

Stay away from known problem categories.

A good rule is to never sell anything you feel bad about. If the item is less than perfect, describe its problems in detail or flush it. Or trade it to another seller.

You also should strictly avoid scam associated products. Never buy or sell a laptop or computer on eBay, and certainly never any cellphones, plasma tv’s or other high end electronics. Similarly, avoid videogames or similar products that appeal to problem buyers such as younger teenagers or druggies. Or add-on memory or any version sensitive installation that a clueless buyer will screw up. And, of course, customer pissing-off trash items like downloadable eBooks full of the usual “not even wrong” poorly arranged misinformation.

Also risky are collectibles with highly subjective condition grading. Naturally, you never list auction items that are certain to get pulled. Such as any Microsoft software or bogus Disney or rock concert items. Or items that are normally licensed rather than sold. Or any personally recorded DVD or CDR that you do not own written exclusive IP rights to all content.

NO foreign bidders/buyers/transshipments!

If you run a pizza delivery service and try to go too far, you end up with cold pizza, excess road time, and arguments over the anchovies. Similarly, if you are a success with domestic sales, there is no need whatsoever for more expensive and more problematic foreign ones. If you are a failure with domestic sales, then foreign sales will not help you in the least.

After many years of careful trial, we found that foreign sales are not even remotely worth the extra time, confusion, costs, bureaucratic kowtowing, dishonesty, and hassles they cause. Life is simply way too short for such an utterly pointless endeavor. In addition, certain of our suppliers contractually forbid us from reselling to foreign nationals.

VISA/MC/Paypal only!

eBay success demands wham, blam, outtahere instant closures. Checks and money orders have long been far out of the mainstream. And may attract felons, societal misfits, flakes, troublemakers, and other undesirable problem buyers. But the really big downside of checks and money orders is that they convert an instant and sure closure into something that may or may not happen at some unspecified future date. COD’s, of course, are beyond the pale.

Paypal is very popular and actually slightly cheaper than your own VISA or MC merchant accounts. And, of course, far less expensive than checks or money orders when all costs are fully considered. Were this not obviously true, there would not be any Paypal or VISA/MC in the first place.

But we have found a major hidden benefit to your own VISA or MC merchant accounts over Paypal: The average buyer does not usually insist on a to-the-penny exact shipping quote. Thus, prepacking and several communication steps can be eliminated with VISA/MC, greatly simplifying closure.

Limit terms and conditions to TEN words maximum.

The purpose of your eBay item description is to describe your item. Long and arcane terms and conditions clearly label you as an undesirable seller. And one to be avoided at all costs.

Eschew neologisms.

Clearly state your revenue neutral shipping charges.

There is only one meaningful definition of “actual shipping costs”. “Actual shipping costs” are any and all expenses the seller incurs over and above physically handing the item to the buyer. It is very important to exactly state your shipping costs in your offering and to never pad these charges beyond what is reasonable. Nor attempt to use them in any manner as a revenue stream.

Many buyer hassles can be avoided by stating your shipping costs in pounds of weight, rather than dollars. Our own policy is to charge what UPS charges for the package, plus the prorated UPS truck stopping charge estimated from the previous week’s volume. Plus a small amount extra. We feel that such items as shipping tape or the time spent recycling free bubble wrap and boxes should be internalized as normal business expenses.

We overwhelmingly prefer UPS over USPS priority mail for everything over two pounds. The really big advantage of UPS is that you simply dump the stuff in your front yard and it magically disappears into a big brown truck. No travel, no waiting in line, no bureaucratic ass kissing. To further ease hassles, we use flags that the UPS employees dearly love but their supervisors utterly detest.

NEVER ship without tracking and insurance.

Always use a first rate shipping method that sends the item promptly and reliably to the buyer. Cheaper postal classes are guaranteed to cause you grief.

Always include tracking and insurance with your shipping. The really big reason for this is that the “Is it here yet?” types can now hassle somebody else’s website rather than your email.
Be sure to promptly email the buyer with the tracking and shipping info.

Relatively high shipping charges on small items can be gotten around by encouraging buyers to “start a tab”, and thus combine shipping on several of your items at once. But promptly flush any buyer that tries to nickel and dime you over shipping options.

Never list anything on eBay that you cannot hold extended at arm’s length.

You can think of shipping charges as a tax or a bribe or mordita or bakeesh or whatever. Stuff that the buyer pays for but you never receive. Anything that weighs over, say, 25 pounds will cost you a lot to ship and will be an expensive and annoying pain to properly package.

Note that normal UPS limits are 75 pounds and 130 inch girth+height. Premium charges apply up to 150 pounds and 150 inch girth+height. While both the UPS Stores (formerly MBE) and FedEx do offer trucking services, these quickly get outrageous. At least here in Thatcher, if something has to go as truck freight, you can assume a minimum of $800.00 in charges and ten weeks delivery.

Extra charges, of course, for residential addresses, crating, shrinkwrapping, or any loading or unloading.

But do note that UPS has cheaper and little known “hundredweight” service. Which is a great bargain if you can split a heavy order up into several lighter boxes all shipped at once to the same address. See the UPS Website or see our Auction Help library page for further details. Or the Intershipper comparative rate service.

Fully account for ALL of your expenses.

It should go without saying that accurate business records are a must for the quarterly IRS taxes you will be paying. A state tax stamp is also a good idea. Since such an exemption certificate quickly pays for itself if most of your buys are local and most of your sales are out of state.

Most eBay sellers do not have the faintest clue what there true business costs are. If you are not including your pro rated water bill (and similar obscure items) in your cost analysis, then the chances are overwhelming that you are making far less on eBay than you think you are.

Another key test is the Leavenworth Ratio. Specifically, if you compare your net-net-net profit against the hours spent getting those profits, how do they compare to the going prison labor rate at Leavenworth or Folsom? I strongly suspect that the Leavenworth Ratio for all of eBay is less than unity.

The more you tell the more you sell.

An ancient sales adage for sure. Accurate descriptions are a must on eBay. Carefully research your products back to the original manufacturer and give both detailed specs as well as links for further support. But stay focused and factual. Always understate condition and value.

Make every title character count. Cutesy poo L@@K, WOW! and similar inanities are a big no-no. Be sure to include name variations, such as GR, General Radio, and GenRad in your descriptions. But absolutely no garish backgrounds, music, animation, or similar annoyances.

The exact category usually does not matter too much, but making sure your item has the right name and description for the right buyer is crucial. As ferinstances, a “pen plotter motor” will not sell at any price, but the identical “laser lightshow galvo” will fly on outta here. Similarly, astronomers snarf up voting booths, while quilters and felters are your prime market for water soluble swimsuits.

Tightly link to your own website.

A companion website is an absolute must for eBay success. One that holds continuing product sales at moderately higher prices. And one that has lots of “free stuff” in the way of genuinely useful and unique tutorials or other buyer assistance. Such a website also clarifies when and where eBay fees are due.

The object of the game is to set up a two way funnel. One that sends eBay buyers to your website and website visitors to eBay. Hopefully with gain both ways.

Naturally, you should have an eBay About Me page. On which you provide your full address, strong links to your website, the needed FDA info if you are into anything medical, and a clear statement of your IP rights for VERO.

You can visit our website here and our bargain pages here.

Avoid pissing contests.

It is usually a good idea to offer a fifteen day inspection privilege (buyer pays all shipping) on higher ticket items. Say $79 or higher.

Our policy is to refund product cost only on our very rare returns. Unless it is reasonably clear that we had an item or description problem. Then we refund all buyer costs. Often without actual return of the item.

We have found that an early offer of a prompt refund usually guarantees the sale will stay sold. Note that our only adjustment is a prompt refund. Never negotiate or offer a partial refund! Once an adjustment needs to be made, the buyer gets permanently blocked. Gone. History, Outtahere. Regardless of fault.

Should someone steal your photos or description, you work through eBay VERO rather than making any direct contact. Exit stage left.

The surest way to avoid a tug-o-war is to not pick up your end of the rope. Remember that the other person will have the last word. All you can do is determine when and where that last word will take place.

Should there be lesser complaints or arguments, simply and briefly restate your policy or terms. Note that customer questions and complaints are a welcome blessing in disguise because they tell you shortcomings in your approach, your market, your items, your terms, and your descriptions.

Evaluate ebay options carefully

A lot of the eBay extra charges are simply not cost effective. Especially the more pricey ones. Special placement charges are ego trips rarely worth their cost. That dime for a ten day listing is worthwhile if you have a one-of-a-kind item for a specialized audience. The gallery is not worth a quarter, but it is often worth a quarter to get the gallery image into your page listings.

While the eBay Power Seller status does give some minor advantages, you should never admit to being a power seller. Nor should you ever use the power seller logo. Power sellers are viewed with universal disdain by most ebay buyers.

The only thing eBay buyers hate worse than a reserve is a high opening price. Reserves also get outrageously expensive on big ticket items. But a low reserve can prevent BIN stomping or to set a bare minimum floor. Reveal your reserve if asked, but never volunteer it. We often use Buy It Now, set to 130 percent of our regular closing price expectation.

On a new and pricey item with unknown economics, we often will list first at a much higher opening and BIN price and then drop accordingly. It is rather disconcerting to have your BIN grabbed the instant it appears on eBay. Meaning you charged way too little.

Naturally, you never end an auction early Virtually always, you will get a better price by letting the offer completely timeout. BIN’s largely stop these attempted ripoff email offers.

Treat newbies with respect.

At least for our items, we find more interest and fewer problems with zero or low feedback buyers. In fact, many industrial buyers come to eBay just for our items. Everybody has to start out as a zero feedback buyer sometime.

If you are having problems with newbie bidders, this strongly suggests you are selling the wrong items in the wrong way to the wrong people. And need serious rethinking.

Respect the IP rights of others.

Needless to say, you should never use another eBay seller’s images and descriptions without explicit written permission. Thanks to eBay’s VERO and NODI programs, you will get immediately shut down and may get permanently barred from eBay.

Note that in the US, all intellectual property is automatically protected by copyright law the instant it appears in tangible form. The only way you can be sure you are not violating the law is to have a signed written release contract from the IP source. Never assume something is in the public domain! The odds are utterly overwhelming that it is not.

Should your own images or ad copy get ripped off, the needed forms and methods appear in MOREEBAY.PDF. A secondary defense when your own website images are linked is to use substitutes. A suitably clad individual pioneering new methods of animal husbandry is often appropriate.

Use both a scanner and a 5 megapixel camera

Higher resolution digital cameras are strongly recommended for eBay because (a) it takes four Bayer filtered camera pixels to make one image pixel, (b) image post prep such as rotation or distortion correction should be done at the highest possible resolution, (c) cropping to subject throws away most of your available pixels, (d) there are all sorts of anti-aliasing and other advantages working 2X final size, and (e) the advances in higher resolution digital cameras in the last few weeks have been utterly amazing.

A scanner offers resolution way beyond the best of digital cameras when and where its use is appropriate. Besides offering perfect and hassle free lighting. Be sure to use a better grade scanner, though. The ultra cheap models sometimes have far too little depth of field.

Sometimes it is even appropriate to use both a digital camera and a scanner on the same subject at the same time. Details on this and similar techniques appear in My eBay Photo Secrets.

Spend at least TWO HOURS in image postproc.

Actually taking a picture should take up less than five percent of your image creation time. It is in the post proc that your personal value added is strongest. Doing things like background knockout, distortion correction, pixel alignment, lettering sharpening, and such.

Properly post processed images can add two to three times the value to your eBay listing. Naturally, you do all your work in .BMP bitmap or in some other uncompressed format, doing a JPEG compression only as the final copy goes out to your ISP. Additional info appears in my EBAYFOTO.PDF tutorial.

Most dropshipping is an outright ripoff

Newbies seem attracted to scam dropshipping services so they can avoid actually touching and handling inventory. Sadly, most dropshippers foist off outdated, overpriced, marginal, and largely unsellable merchandise to hoards of clueless competitors.

Problems with dropshipping include (a) There are way too many fingers in the pie, (b) there is not nearly a high enough sell/buy ratio, (c) identical items are offered by others, (d) your personal value added is usually sorely limited, and (e) it is you that gets hung out to dry on the inevitable delay or nondelivery.

A good rule is to never sell what you do not personally own title to and physically have present possession of! It sure is interesting to watch the predator-prey relationship on the alt.wholesale newsgroup.

A possible dropshipping exception may very rarely exist if you are providing outsource marketing services for a local craftsperson. The key questions to ask are (a) Are you the only person given the exclusive ability to sell their items on eBay? (b) Is the dropshipping source within walking distance of your home? (c) Is your sell/buy margin exceptionally high, and (d) Are you able to add substantial and unique personal value added not available elsewhere?

Palletized liquidation scams are equally useless because (a) Each pallet item has at least one problem, (b) The good stuff has long been higraded, (c) much of it may be inappropriate for eBay, and (d) shipping costs will be outrageous.

More on dropshipping and liquidation scams in our More eBay Secrets tutorial.

Consignment sales are bad news.

If you sell on eBay for a friend, you will lose that friend. End of story.

Those outside the eBay community tend to grossly overvalue their items and obscenely underestimate the time and effort needed for listing, closing, and shipping. They also tend to forget that an eBay sale is an enforceable contract under the Uniform Commercial Code. Leaving you hung out to dry when they fail to deliver or get a better offer elsewhere.

If you absolutely must explore consignment sales, a minimum starting point would be a fifty percent commission over and above a $96 placement fee. Plus, of course, personal possession of the items to be sold before they are listed.

Don’t sweat feedback.

Feedback is completely voluntary and is largely an unneeded and irrelevant sideshow. As a seller, you should provide feedback only after the buyer reports receipt of an item. Anything earlier is a serious disservice to other eBay sellers and eventually will end up being an outright lie.

As a seller, we will normally only neg when a warning to other eBay sellers is sorely needed.

What if you are negged as a seller? No response at all is often the best policy. Based upon the scientific principle of “the more you stir shit, the worse it smells”.

If you must respond to a neg, keep it brief, factual, and unemotional. As a buyer, you can post feedback anytime you want. But never post a neutral or
neg until after you have emailed the seller for resolution.

eBay and Paypal fees are still outstanding bargains.

Those who grouse about eBay and Paypal charges have obviously never tried to run a brick and mortar business. Nor have they ever paid for media advertising or exposure. Or bought booth or exhibit space. Or known what it is like to deal with real customers face to face, day in and day out.

eBay fees remain an absolutely outstanding bargain. One that saves you far more than their cost. Nothing else comes even remotely close. Those who feel otherwise simply do not have a clue.
Don’t sweat feedback.

For More Help

Additional background along with related utilities and tutorials appears on our GuruGram, Auction Help, PostScript, Acrobat, Blatant Opportunist, and the Fonts & Bitmaps library pages.
Consulting assistance on any and all of these and related topics can be found at http://www.tinaja.com/info01.asp. As can our image development and processing services.
Additional GuruGram notes and Blatant Opportunist columns await your ongoing support as a Synergetics Partner.
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So, I don’t agree with everything that article is saying, but there are a LOT of good points in there. I know I will come back and read this often.

What I did in the last week is:

• Upped my buy it now price, to cover the new free shipping thing
• Changed most of my listings to offer “free” domestic shipping (see above)
• Offered money back returns on everything
• removed unnecessary “fluff” wording from my descriptions and titles
• Offered international shipping on everything (we’ll see how this goes!)
• Lowered all my prices at my website
• Listed everything on my website (some of it was on ebay and not on my website, now everything is in both places)
• Matched the titles of everything on my website and ebay, so they’d be easier to search
• Had a card made up that mentions my website and offers a coupon code
• Spent time blogging and telling people about ebay and website… sending them to both

The other things that I’ve noticed, as far as having happy customers:
1. Hand write “thank you!” on all of their packing slips
2. Make sure to address each and every email or that “thank you” on the packing slip to their first name and sign it with your first name
3 Got a sticker made with my logo and I add that to every package.
4. On some of the more “boutique” items, I made a pretty little insert sticker with glitter, to jazz it up a little.

Even after 11 years, I’m still learning how to win at the ebay game.

Sidenote… this article mentions NOT buying palettes of items and selling them. Hmmm. I’ve done it twice before and I guess it could have gone smoother. I’m wondering where to buy items direct and bypass people cherry picking items etc? Get palettes cheaper and from the top source? I probably will never do this, but… it’s intriguing. Sort of like that Storage Wars show… I could really enjoy bidding on storage spaces but… I don’t think I’m *that* dedicated

The last few days I’ve been researching other stationery suppliers, designer cards and handmade cards.

I’m still not 100% sure exactly how much of my product will be strictly “mass produced” by my printer then packaged and how much will be handmade and adorned by me and my future workers.

Do I do a set with a box, or sans box? Do I package them individually in cellophane bags or put a group of a few in a bag? I think the answer is “yes” to all of the above… just have a few different types of cards and card sets (boxed blank sets, elaborate onesies etc). But exactly what these sets will be or look like is still sort of up in the air.

I’m still doing research on how much consumers will pay for a greeting card, too. These days so many cards play licensed songs, record your own message or have elaborate pop-ups, die-cuts and glitter. These cards are $3-7. I’m sure there is a greeting card guild out there somewhere… next on my homework list is to find them, and perhaps find the paper/stationery industry mart or show. I know it exists, I’ve seen others blog about it. Mind you, I don’t plan on becoming a major distributor in the next few years, but it’s good to know where I could be heading and what I should shoot for.

I may already have a rep in a showroom in Los Angeles, so that may be a route to sell my line, too. But, this rep will take 10-15% of my sales, so I think I’m going to try my hand at not having a rep until my overhead shrinks and I’m buying my raw materials in bigger bulk. The more I buy and order, the more I save and therefore have more wiggle room for that profit margin. Also, if I got an order for 1000 cards tomorrow, I would have no way of handling it. So, starting small… working my way up. Baby steps.

Also, last night I did a bunch of painting. Mostly little colorful birds, but my designs are starting to gel… and it’s really exciting.

So, back to photoshop, layouts and painting… hopefully I’ll have at least a set done by Monday. Fingers crossed.

sidenote… the most recent distraction has been ebay’s new fee structure for Spring 2011. A fee increase is expected with ebay every year or so, but… this time… I think they are going to lose a lot of sellers. They are now taking a percentage (8-20%) of your shipping fee, although they claim that overall your fees will go down a wee bit. I know this is to encourage sellers to lower their shipping prices, or get as close to zero as possible, but… charging a % of shipping… who is this really going to benefit?? Everyone is going to raise their prices by 10%+ and the buyers will end up paying for it and only ebay will be making more money. It’s really frustrating. Especially because ebay has been so sneaky about it by hiding it first behind star ratings, and now flat out forcing many to hide shipping costs inside the item cost. Hopefully, everyone’s prices will go up proportionately and we’ll all be on a level playing field… but it’s annoying. Especially when you are a seller with 600+ listings to edit :/ So, just understanding the new structure is hard enough… now I need to figure out how to change all my listings so that they make sense and keep my buyers happy. Oh, and my ebay sales have been completely stale over the last month, too… so… perhaps the buyers are leaving the ‘bay, too. So, to stay with ebay or not… another question I need to tackle!

And we’re at the starting gate of a new business endeavor. This is the first real business idea I’ve had that I can honestly say I feel organized, prepared and ready for.

A little history…

for over 12 years I’ve painstakingly handmade and sold my wares for retail price at boutiques and street fairs, online and in my own store. I’ve made dozens of things in lots of different mediums and price points. I had ADD when it came to my inventory, and rarely had a consistent line of product… it changed constantly. My prices were WAY too low to start with. So, wholesaling was a bad idea and not worth my time. I did do a little bit of wholesale sales and consignment in my jewelry and bath product line, but I was seriously being taken to the cleaners… I didn’t make any money on those transactions. It was a great ego pat, but it was a total waste of time. It’s embarrassing to say but in those 12 years, I only made money when I had my items in my own store… in retrospect, the other venues didn’t do anything for me but build my mailing list (So, I guess there was SOME value to it all, but not a whole lot).

I already have a retail online business up and running, so I’m going to use that name and branding to get started. I have the logo, packaging colors, packaging inserts, business cards, stickers etc all in place, but I’m going to tweak them a little bit for my wholesale orders as well as create a wholesale order form and website landing page.

Business name and branding… check!

My style and branding – nothing is perfect, everything is handmade or hand painted. All my fonts are hand drawn. Things are symmetrical and structured, but in a free form sort of way. I still use photoshop to do my layouts, but I pull from all of my paintings and drawings. I’m trying to steer clear of the perfect lines and pristine drafted graphic design. I’m hoping that will help my brand stand out.

I love the look of dailycandy.com… their little hand watercolored images are sweet and whimsical. That’s sort of the direction I’m going in.

The first thing I did was figure out how many things I want to start selling initially, and what I should start selling. Thirty items feels like a beefy product line to me… it’s just enough to have variety, but also be manageable. I’m going to start with greeting cards and note cards, then move into gift tags, enclosure cards and wall art. I’m hoping that in a year or so, I’ll be able to add a line of high-end bath products to the mix. I love fun spa products (as does almost every other girl I know!). I’m not convinced that bath products are the next logical step, but it’s something I would love to do since I have a passion for packaging design and for picking scent combinations.

I had to decide how much I was going to have made, and how much I was going to hand-adorn or make. I’m trying to stick with 75/25. Mass produce 75% of the cards, package and sell, and the other 25% will be hand-decorated or adorned (outline in paint, glitter, rhinestones, ribbon etc) and will cost a bit more, but will give the line that much needed kick-in-the-pants to stand out. It’s nice for a customer to have the ritzy glitzy expensive option, and a more affordable option as well.

I picked cards to start because they are a staple in almost every retail store, car wash, coffee house and little hospital gift shop across the country. They are inexpensive to buy and to manufacture and I can easily showcase my art and have a great creative outlet, too. I’ve manufactured cards before and have learned from my mistakes. I have a list of suppliers that I trust, too. It’s taken me YEARS to compile a good suppliers list.

In my experience with my own shop, I know which cards sold the most and which sat on the shelves. From going to several gift shows, I’ve gotten to know quite a few other lines of wholesale cards and papers. I’ve been tracking them to see who has weathered the economic storm and who has fallen away. I can see how they’ve grown, changed and adapted. I feel like I’ve got a front row seat to watch how everything has unfolded over the last 10 years.

So I will wrap up today by pricing envelopes and ribbon and start designing my 30 cards. I already have a lot of the art done, I just need to put it together in a way that makes sense. I’ve estimated that it will take me a month or so to get the art all together. Then by June, I’ll get a little one sheet catalog together to send to retailers. Baby steps. One day at a time

Finally… a business idea that has gelled, a product line I feel comfortable with and art that I’m proud of! It’s only taken 10 years !

So, the last few years have been filled with soul searching, celebrating then mourning the loss of my dear sweet store, finding myself (at the bad end of 40 more lbs) and trying to figure out…. what the hell is next?

I have a background in art, a degree in film and have a few retail jobs and one TV studio production job on my resume. Eight years of resume real estate is “owing my own retail store”. *I* thought it was an impressive bullet point, but apparently it really isn’t (Unless I want to be the manager of the Gap… and I really don’t). Even merchandising requires a degree.

After emailing my resume, hesitantly NOT sending my resume to crappy desk jobs or odd real estate photography gigs… I have come to this conclusion(s)…
a. I’ve been a lazy lazy and frustrated princess of a job searcher
b. I don’t wanna work for someone else if I can help it.

I *think* I want another store. I’m not 100% sure, but that is what my heart is singing. (Wishy washy and probably completely irresponsible and selfish of me to think this).

My husband has now come to the conclusion that running a little retail store is a money pit, and could never ever be profitable. That it’s a “hobby” left for bored empty-nesters with too much money. (He has also recently announced that he wants to switch careers from his high-demand, well-paying position to one that is more exciting and hard to achieve and in a totally different field… and might require us to make multiple sacrifices including moving… From one dream chaser to another… lay off).

My friend just opened a little shop near the beach (my dream for retirement… well, it was at one point), and he insists that it isn’t going to do well and she’s just wasting his husband’s money.

I’m here to tell you that this is a half-truth.

And it REALLY pissed me off that this is his opinion right now. (Pissed… yet, glad for the apparent challenge I’ve been presented. Perhaps he knows this).

Yes, the economy is in the toilet, but it’s recovering. Yes, the world has been in some upheaval in the last few years, too (But no, the Mayans are not correct… pshaw). Yes, retail isn’t what it used to be, so you have to be clever.

Clever, disciplined and have a well of energy from which to drink.

I know what I did wrong, and I want a second chance to try it again knowing what I know now.

I also want to follow the Ben and Jerry’s business model and start super slow, just like I did back in 1998. (Read this… it was the first thing I read before I embarked on my business journey).

So, I’m going to start over again… (as I’ve mentioned a few other times before, but now I finally think I know what I have to do).

I’m thinking wholesale… in 3 products… then grown slowly. Very slowly.

The first time I started a business, I started with swap meets then craft fairs… a 10 x 10 booth, several times a month, slowly building a customer base and educating myself and what sells in different areas and how to deal with people and how to run a small business. With the internet and my new knowledge of the wholesale industry, I think I’m going to retire the booth setup and droves of wandering kettle corn consumers and approach other business owners instead.

The goal: Start in my 12 x 12 home office, then migrate to a tiny retail space then to a larger retail space. And ONLY migrate when I have the funds to hire people to wear the different hats I used to wear. Lesson one: You only have one head, and it breaks easily when overly taxed for too long (aka… you start making bad, emotionally driven decisions. This CANNOT happen).

I’m going to stick with a “semi” homemade approach and make things that area 1/2 reproduction of my art, and 1/2 hand embellished. I’d eventually like to have my work produced by other people, but made here in the USA. So, start with me only, add a few other artists one by one then add a production team over the course of a year or two.

In my travels, there weren’t a lot of small wholesalers who did what I’m doing… and of those that I ordered from, they were 6-8 weeks backlogged, and they are still around these days, too. I’m hoping that’s a sign that I’m on the right path.

Seeing as we may be making a move so DH can follow his dreams, establishing a portable business is smart, anyway (take that! horrible theoretical desk job at the college and/or hospital!).

My plan is to document this journey here… I know for a fact there are a few of you out there who can learn from my experience…errr…. mistakes. Because I’ve made some doozies that cost me a ton of money, my sanity and my dainty dainty figure

(p.s… don’t get me wrong… if my family was starving, I wouldn’t be taking the time to start a new business. I would take the first job I was offered. I *know* that I’m lucky to have the luxury to start, nurture and grow a business. Very very lucky, indeed!)

I feel like the biggest jackass.

Why?

Well, upon our arrival to this coast we met a nice young couple. They were super sweet and super fun and super perfect for us. We fell in love.

During the “Disneyland” period, or honeymoon phase, we decided to open an online business with them. That would be FANTASTIC! Yay, super high five. Through all of the cautionary tales of friendships and relationships gone bad due to business, we promised we would keep the business and friendship completely separate! So easy to vomit out such a sentiment so easily.

February 2009- Set up business ideas. They have the idea, we have the website building skills. My dh starts building a website using their art.

April 2009 – Hold the phone, they want a completely different order page on the website (d’oh), going to set us back a few months.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch… the missus of said couple starts getting frantic and calling me weekly, if not tri-weekly… she recently got laid off (her hubby laid off last fall) and they are very very concerned that the website isn’t up! Why aren’t we working faster, what’s the hold up… “we are TRAPPED!” She says as she bursts into tears over our ladies-who-lunch caesar salads. “Doesn’t your husband know that he’s doing all the hard work NOW, but when we get the website, we’ll be pounding the pavement and our little fingers will be bleeding with all the phone calls and emails we’ll be sending!” She tells me with intensity… I’m telling you Meryl Streep would have been proud! I feel their worry and run back to my husband… “work faster!!! I don’t care about your 40-50 hour a week JOB, THEY need you to step it up a notch!!!” I continue to elbow him as she noodles me (I find that funny). He’s starting to resent me and her… immensely.

August 2009 – DH and I are in the process of moving, but we hand them a website… which took him 200+ hours start to finish. Over the course of the month, we work on adding art and other assorted items.

September 2009 – Google adwords are put into place. Our friends announce that they may be moving 4 hours north. They’re busy working out the details. Not much being done on the business, we cut them a break.

Early October 2009 – Google adwords need tweaking, but not much is happening over on their end. We call a meeting… once again, she is frantic “We need a blog! OMG, we need to have a blog or we’ll be homeless!!!!” Because see, they are both still unemployed and they are hinging their lives on this business. My dh takes a few hours and sets up a blog.

November 2009 – We don’t hear from them for a few weeks. No blog posts on their end… We give them the benefit of the doubt. DH and I add a few blog posts to the blog.

Early December 2009 – Still nothing. We haven’t heard from them, but according to facebook they are doing a lot of traveling, she is selling a bunch of stuff on ebay, they’re participating in craft shows and they love to go to thrift stores.

Late December 2009 – We announce that we might want out of the business if they aren’t into it because clearly, they aren’t doing much. We give them an “out” to dissolve the business. They maintain that they are involved, just distracted… and we hug and make up and get pumped up for 2010.

End of December 2009 – Meeting to discuss their involvement with a search engine optimization meetup.com group. The leader of the group gave them great ideas on how to get our rankings up in google. My husband winces at all of the suggestions because they all suck, in his opinion (although, he has been known to be an internet elitist, but I don’t blame him). He’s been doing this for 10 years, and the suggestions given were… how would you say… very elementary. Instead of discussing it like 50/50 partners and having a vote, she insists that it should be done because “We need to throw shit on the wall to see if it sticks… if you cared about the business, you would just do it”. Umm… yes, and this would make the website look like shit, too. So, nerves are on edge, tension is high. Meanwhile, she’s calling my husband “their programmer”, instead of “our partner” to everyone. Another clue that we were low on their totem pole.

Early January 2010 – Another meeting after a search engine optimization meetup.com meeting, which we are never invited to. They come over for dinner and explain to my husband that we need to make all these changes to the order form because the fellow at the SEO meetup said that we needed to move it up 10 pixels, or whatever. (Oh, and at this meeting, they see our November blog posts at our house… “oh, you blogged!” This was another indicator that… wow, they weren’t even looking at their own website that they want to make dozens of changes to). So, my husband agrees, and we start setting up the changes. Husband from team B is emailing us with the art, but only after my husband had to nudge him over the course of 3 days. At this point, my husband had just about had enough and announced to me that he wanted to cut the cord.

Middle of January 2010 – So… here we are… taking 3 hour walks to discuss if we want to stay with the business or not. My husband is done done done. Not getting the art back from husband B, after all the drama, was enough to put him over the edge. So, we send them an email saying we want out… dissolve or buy us out.

This is when it got ugly. It usually does when you corner a sleeping bear and wake him up to tell him that he is a lazy bum. I guess the bear wouldn’t have to be sleeping… whatever, my metaphor holds no water. Long story short, I was the ambassador for our team, I went over to their place to smooth things over because I still liked them, but didn’t want to work with them. After 70 minutes of grumpy bear talk, as I sat their crying like a baby from frustration, I realized husband B was no longer going to be my business partner… or friend. I was on the fence about being friends with the wife because she sat there as he threw insults and mud at me. She claims I was being too sensitive. I’m not sure about that. Oh, but she did bring me kleenex and a glass of water as I was crying, so she gets a gold star for that.

It still isn’t clear if they were both lazy, if he lied to her about all the work he should have been doing or if they were completely misguided… but… after we did our part and delivered a website, they did not do their part. They had a bucket load of excuses, but… they claimed they called 30 people, didn’t visit one client and they sent about 20 emails. Over the course of 5 months. Oh, and they went to three meetups to discover changes needed to be made to the website… aka, work for my husband to do. My husband gave up his nights and weekends… they gave up nothing. Oh, and they are still unemployed.

Bitter? Yes. I trusted them. Immensely. BUT, I learned a lesson. I urge you to think long and hard before you go into business with anyone, it can get ugly.

The resolution? Instead of getting 50% of the business, or 10% of the business… (back and forth email bickering was getting old) we ended up handing them the website along with a 30 page list of how to migrate it (It had been hosted for free on my husband’s server for the last year). So, in the end… they got a free website along with clear instructions on how to run it… we ended up with nothing (a little debt, some worthless business cards) but we learned a valuable lesson.

My husband is back to his ol’ self and I’m SO happy to have him back with less stress in his life. He has deleted their info from his life, I’m still working on pulling that plug, but… in this situation, I don’t know if I can separate business and friendship… as we promised we would a year ago. It’s really sad.

Do not form a business with new friends (or friends you don’t know well… hell, just don’t form a business with anyone, really), HAVE A BUSINESS PLAN that is bulletproof, if you see signs of waning excitement… pull out and above all… keep your emotions out of it. (Again, a wonderous opinion from the hypocrite here).

I was at the nail place yesterday getting my toes done, and the lady who was working on said toes is the new owner. She is young, in her late 20′s, and has been running the store, alone, with her husband since last June. As the massage chair worked magic on my lower back, she went off on her own rant.

She declared that all of her customers were rude. Especially the ladies from New York. That they snap at her when she’s only trying to be nice and say nasty things to her. “It ruined my day and I had nightmares all night… why are they so mean?” She was whimpering a little bit as she said this to me.

My nail lady works 7 days a week. She has 2 young children and a lazy husband who sleeps on the tweezing table as she works the front. She’s coming to the end of her rope.

My advice to her? Leave for 2 weeks. Let hubby deal with the madness, drop the kids off with a sitter… take off and sleep for 2 weeks solid. Upon her return, see if she still had the entrepreneurial spirit. Who cares if they lose business. She is losing her mind and it’s apparent to all that see her and the multiple bags under her eyes. I saw something similar to this while in CA. Owner dropped his wife off at their juice/coffee bar at 6 am… he did godknowswhat, but his ass wasn’t at the store, while she made smoothies until 9pm. SEVEN days a week. AND she had a 2 year old at home that she barely spent time with. (Ladies, this is the definition of a prick/douche… take note). Smoothie place went down in flames… huh… I wonder why?

My 2nd piece of advice? DO NOT admit to your customers that you are the owner.

I used to take pride in the fact that my store was mine… “Why yes, yes… this magnificent palace is mine… BEHOLD the perfect that is my store!” Sometimes, I would gush on and on… then one day a lady marched in with a problem. A problem I couldn’t solve, even if I wanted to (She was koo-koo)… she looked at me cross eyed and moaned “BUT YOU are the OWNER!”

crapshitf*ck.

This became more and more common as queen put-foot-in-mouth here shouted from the hills that I owned a store. Customers didn’t want to deal with my helper, they wanted to deal with her royal highness. I started resenting it daily.

So, you young spring chickens wanting a brick and mortar… remember this… SHUT UP.

Oh, and don’t take things personally, it will eat you up inside. (Said like a true hypocrite).

that is all.