Store Rants

Making decisions has never come easy, but when your job feels like a prison, the decision is made for you! I was at the shop on Saturday and told [helpful cousin] I had to leave. The veins in my forehead were popping out, I couldn’t stop my leg from tapping in a very angry fashion and when I saw one of my cheap shoppers pull up (she insists I help her pick everything out as I get the entire biography of each person, down to their blood type and shoe size). When I saw her, I tore out the door. I loved being free and out in the sunshine. I almost didn’t go back. I can usually handle these people but this year… for some reason… I’ve really really had it. “Going postal” has new meaning to me, I now totally get it.

Therefore, the audible *ding* in my head has told me, it’s time to move on. Regardless of the fact that I’m 15K in the hole and figuring out how to smooth that over ain’t going to be easy, I just can’t do this anymore, my customers are insane and it’s making me go insane. This is a blessing because I was on the fence. I didn’t know what I wanted. Now, my physical being, each cell has told me… get the heck out of Dodge.

(some more complaining here)

Sorry to sound so much like Debbie Downer, but… this is what’s on the plate in the decision buffet lately. The emotional dessert tray is tres magnifique, too… but again… if you are an emotional diabetic, this is boring and skip it. Sorry for the metaphors, I love them.

Lastly, my huge fear is the plug on the emotions that I’ll be pulling out by closing. I’m sure I’ll be a wreck and at the very end I may have to get therapy since I’m so wrapped up in this emotionally. It’s unhealthy, but apparent to many who come in. It’s a good and bad thing. My heart and soul went into this, and now I’m going to tear it apart and sell it off, piece meal. My goal is to keep it together as this happens.

And so the holiday has begun.

go go go. now now now… cheapskates. “This scarf feels sticky, I hate the cords that hang off the plug-in chandeliers, tell her what you want (mother to 6 year-old daughter to say to me), wrap this, you don’t have change for $100??

Ummm…. what is with the parents who think their young children should interact with adults in the service industry? We don’t think it’s cute and we really don’t have the time for it. They may have problem solving skills… but on the spot, with many choices… they just can’t do it. Don’t ask. “Tell the lady at the counter what you want, schnookems…” 20 minutes later I find out that schnookems wants a pink bow on her bag. The toe-tapping irritation rising from me in the form of steam must have been apparent because I scared schnookems a bit. I just don’t have the patience to be entertaining or practice child psychology this season.

spirit, schmirit.

So, it’s been slow… I’m sort of worried, but if anything, I’ll get rid of all this stuff via the sale. Mark it down enough, the vultures will get it. Put on a smile, don’t wrap and realize that you are at least making a buck or two. But honestly… I should have ordered a fraction of what I did. I don’t even like Christmas yet I order SO much of it.

Okay, back on the floor. Good distraction though.

feeling defeated…

$3.50 wrapped ornament… paying with a credit card for a $12.00 transaction. everyone is so cheap this year… and I’m feeling cornered. $1400 in the bank and more bills than usual. I feel sick to my stomach and I don’t want to go on with the store. I can’t keep doing this. Taking out loans, paying friends extra… doing favors and feeling like I owe that person. I just can’t do this anymore.

The website mostly sells one thing. I guess it could be worse. I won’t be able to get the variety that I want, but I can still decorate and do fun things on the blog.

There’s still a week left, and there is still hope… but I’m feeling so down about this. The hours, the cleaning, the bows on bags… they don’t appreciate it. Will they miss the store when it’s gone? Well, spending $10.00 here and there and having each thing wrapped isn’t helping me. Do they think I just make a million dollars a day?

Labor of love. These stores are going to be gone, people only come to them to “get ideas” and think everything is so expensive. They’ll open up those fancy magazines again, hope that they can actually visit a store like that in the magazine and be upset when it’s gone.

They all want to chat with me, get one-on-one attention… special attention, discounts… other b.s. But when it comes down to it, they aren’t loyal to me. I bend over backwards, fixing stuff, helping them with decorating/color ideas… all that. Nothing.

Remind me to talk about credit card processing companies and how they all suck.

It’s been slow, but we still have tomorrow.

I’ve been in a bad mood and I’m trying to figure out what it is.  I have to say that these bargain hunters feel the need to push for more freebies… boxes, wrapping… “oh come on, isn’t this considered an ornament!  It should be marked down more!”  bah.

I want to have patience.  I can see myself laughing and having a good time with customers who are having a good time and appreciate that they have a nicely decorated, unique store in their own backyard.

I need to have pride in my work and know that what I offer is worth every penny.  They are making me feel like less than that.  Scratch that… I am letting me feel that way.  I need to let it roll off my back.

To change all this:

1.  Take out all the slow melancholy christmas music.  Get an ipod… heck…. get rid of the christmas music.  Studies show they buy more with frank sinatra.  Let’s download every album he’s made… ever.
2.  communicate more at home that you are tired and need some space and/or help with the chores.  He’ll understand.  Don’t get grumpy or angry.
3.  Don’t stay here all night long… go home.  Get a hobby.  Exercise.  You are here too much.
4.  Everything does not have to be done now.
5.  Slow down.  Journal when it gets bad.  I was so angry and hurt today… like the universe hated me or something.  Why so personal?  You didn’t hit the sales you wanted but the weekend and month is NOT over.  Slow down.

I’ve come to the conclusion that weaning my customers off the “nice” me, the attentive one who has hours for them, the one that gave them free stuff and pampered them and spoiled them, is going to be really hard.  I think I may do the customer appreciation frequent buyer club at the beginning of 2008.  I’m a little too paranoid to start it now.  So… that’s my goal for the next 5 weeks.  To get a plan together that I can put into place on the 1st.

Oh, ironically, a lady that sets up frequent buyer clubs called me and is calling me back next week.  Should I talk to her?  It’s only 10 min.  Do it.

Okay…. feeling better.

I wanted to close today.  I was ready to give up.  Where did this come from?  The tables turned and a customer talked to me today about it… she should be a life coach.  She is amazing & could really help people.  She really wants to be a coach, I hope she does it.  Let’s hope that her talking to me is a good “sign” for her that she should be coaching.  And I hope I didn’t say too much.  I don’t want to give them all that ammo.  Please watch this.

Also, I have this huge fear that people won’t like me.  Where is this coming from?  And, on top of that, if they don’t like the store, they don’t like me.  EEEK!  Setting yourself up for disaster there, kid.  It’s that one lady, the negative one that gets under your skin.  You stay all night long because that one lady said it was a mess in here.  Why do you let that effect you?  This goes way beyond the store.

Very thankful… doing some positive thinking journaling.  Sort of racing thoughts, though.

So… I wished for a good bath line, and found them.  They have the most amazing candles and lotions… all very reasonable with great packaging and the ability to jazz it all up and also add to the line with my own soaps.  I’m SO excited.  I think this is an awesome wholesale opportunity.  Also, I’m fairly certain that the awesome candle company, who is a mom and pop, could make candles for me without packaging that I could package and sell with my line.  Awesome.  I can’t say “awesome” enough… because this is the most amazing feeling.  I asked for a new bath line that’s reasonable and answered my needs and it fell in my lap.

Also… I’ve been hoping for help.  And sure enough, [my friend] comes along and wants to help me out! YAHOO!!!!  She has a flexible schedule, is very competent, I LOVE working with her and she is so smart.  Exactly what I wanted and on such short notice.

Today was SUPER busy.  The postcard didn’t get to me until wednesday and I wore myself out getting them into the mail that night… and last night, until 6 am, killer.  I should have passed on the turkey, but I’m glad I went.

So, back to today…. I was on a roll… I wrote down that I wanted to make $5,000.  Figured out by 3pm I needed to make $16.00 a minute.  It was happening for about an hour then bam… it stopped.  Was it because my husband brought me lunch and my focus changed?  Because it’s so windy and it got dark?  I’ll pick up the slack tomorrow.  But I think we did just over $2000.  Which frankly, is quite amazing (It actually came out to 1750… for random customers coming in who saw my blog, that’s pretty good).  My goal is $15,000 for this weekend.

I’ve been very conservative with ordering… it’s good.  I think I’ve made good decisions.  Next… tea stuff… cups, serving pieces etc.  So, I want to spend about another $1500 or so on fill-in.  What do I need?  Let that sink in, answer in a few days.

Also… merchant account… square that away THIS weekend, by MONDAY.

A homeworker was working on the jewelry for me and it’s DONE with all the pieces I gave her.  At this rate, I’ll have all these cases full with finished pieces from beads I had sitting around.  A real return on my investment, it’s my designs, it gives her a small income and my customers love it.  Her workmanship is superb and she “gets it”.  I’m so excited.

Next…. art for boards and cards.  Holiday soap.  Think retro, victorian, snowmen etc.

Calm night.  Clean entry.  Quiet sleep.  Up early and rested for tomorrow.  Ready to hit my goal.

Just so thankful and happy.

Keep thinking about wholesale.  I really want to go in that directions.  With the homeworker epiphany, all sorts of new packaging and more confidence in my art, feeling more organized, with my friend helping… I think we could really do amazing things.

I love the Holidays!

Lastly…. 5 vendors…. great vendors with nice stuff, good prices, unique, fun, great personality, flexible, respectful, grateful… will contact me regarding the show.  This will happen by Tuesday so i can make the postcard, stat.

Lots of sales… I was there until after 8 pm with a couple who purchased a lot then wanted to know if I would franchise.  This is the 3rd time I’ve been approached… formally… I’ve had others in passing say that “when they retire, I would love a store like this, would you franchise?”  So, food for thought.  It may or may not pan out, but what an amazing compliment

Okay, so I have one day off, then Thanksgiving then in theory, no days off until Christmas.  With this day off do I:

1.  Go downtown and get jewelry and purses?
2.  Make stuff at home?
3.  unload cardboard from the van?  (most definitely!)
4.  Send out another flier?

What would be more important and do at this point?  When I get the fliers, that is going to eat up all my time so… until then… if I get jewelry that takes at least a day or two to price… to make stuff, I would probably crank out something per hour.  Bath products are a good thing to make… I could do that while pricing jewelry (while things cool and/or melt).

So… I guess get some rest… sleep in then head to the recycling plant then downtown.  Stop at Office Depot, pick up some labels, then pick up some stamps and be ready for the fliers.  Stop at the store for pricing stickers?  Come home by 3, start cleaning the kitchen, get the soap ready.

Now… do I have stickers printed or do them myself?  What am I making, anyway?  What is popular?

So much to do and think about.  Feeling good about this good start to the season.  Keep this momentum up!

Next stop… clean up back room and stock with bath products.  Lots of fun buckets of salts, bath bombs, little lotions etc.  The answer will come to you, you’ll find the product line you need.  It will fall in your lap. 

Fun quotes of the day…

me: “Please excuse our mess!”
Lady: “Mess is an understatement!”

Lady #2: “I’m sorry to be so blunt, but that green tree is atrocious!”
Lady #2: (after knocking down a display) “Oh, did I break anything? Can you pick this up? My nails are wet!”

Today and all of this week, I’ve wanted to move. I’m over being here. The store is stressful. Dammit, I’m having such a hard time typing today!

I want so much. I’m so excited for moving forward. I want to have a booming business. But at this moment… the micro managing is driving me crazy. These women. So much cluttered around, no money… I can’t buy a vacuum filter, stamps or pay bills. I have $200 in the bank and tons of bills coming. I’m sort of freaking out… but what else is new?

Please pick yourself up. Make a list of what to do today. Make a list of purchases that need to be made and bills. Figure out a budget and what needs to come in.

Get your ebay stuff organized and start listing. Website, too. Do more jewelry tonight to relax, but start moving forward.

What is to come of all of this? This store… so sad.

See how stress can ruin your day? I’m overwhelmed, feeling cornered and Christmas was around the corner… I was alone, not prepared and just… feeling the pressure… I decided to close our doors just 2 months later. I should have gotten help at this exact moment!

I’m at home in my p.j’s… it’s a little late for p.j.’s but I’m still getting my day organized.  But the most awesome of awesome is that [my cousin] is at the store and she is SUPER busy!!!!  I cannot even express how thankful I am to hear this.  I jumped up and down and did a little happy dance.

Knowing that the store is open and making money while I’m NOT there is the most rewarding, fulfilling and proudest feelings I’ve ever had.  Imagine if the store was open with customers inside, the website was open with customers browsing, ebay had people buying things and it was all running itself.

Imagine.  Imagine how that would feel.  This moment… knowing it can run without you.

Priceless!!!

So, next time you feel low… read this… it CAN work.  You don’t have to be there.

YAY!

Things in green are things that I have accomplished as of 10/2007
Things in red are things I am editing or adding to as of 10/2007

Words in Black are the original journaling from August 2006
journaling
So, [business coach] told me I need to journal what I want for the shop… here it goes!

I do not want to close. If the following things happen I will continue with the brick and mortar shop until the end of time.
It’s that coming out of summer blues! After 3 months of slow days and heat, being at the store is far from awesome. Then, Halloween comes and you get busy and it’s a “high” or “rush” again. Need to stabilize this paradox… minimize stress. So… I would say… Give this 4th quarter a really good chance. Seek out your goals and push for that higher profit. You can reevaluate wanting to close the doors to the brick and mortar after February 2008. But these goals will also pertain to the web business that I will always have no matter what.

1. Profits to be up from last year at least 30% – This did not happen exactly, but we did go up in our inventory numbers setting us up for a very good situation in 2007
1. Fourth Quarter 2007 – Gross sales up $70,000 from last year. To break that down per day, that’s 58 days open. That’s $1051.72 per day or $150.25 per hour. This is doable! After I take home a regular paycheck (to be determined) and all payables are ZERO, the store will make at least $35,000 in profit by 12/31/2007.

2. Cash flow situation figured out. maintain specific amount of money in the bank, able to forecast future bills and plan for them in an orderly fashion. This is still a very important goal. Need to draft specific measures I should take to get a handle on this.

3.***private***

4. Rent will stay the same or not go up more than 3%. Lock in a rate, same as last time, three 1 year options and be able to communicate that I will not move forward unless I can get some resolution with the a/c not working. Rent did stay the same!

5. Build internet sales – Sales did go up, however, my merchant fees have gone up significantly, too.
5. Find products to put on the website that are unique and easy to store. Your sales would definitely go up if you spent the time doing it. Jewelry sales were through the roof in 2002. You can get that going again. I have a great person who cranks out jewelry if you got it organized. You benefit from a great markup and having YOUR designs in the store that are completely unique. Explore this and MOVE ON IT.

6. Hire someone in October who is:

Older and responsible

Creative

Respectful

Friendly and good with the customers. Can replace me & customers won’t really notice much. (as far as customer service, knowledge of the items here, knowing the customers by name etc etc)

Flexible

Has absolutely no drama

Can stay on for as long as I need him/her
To follow is a detailed journal on my ideal employee. Please call “State Fund” and get rates on Workman’s Comp ASAP. I feel as if I have enough help for this season but having someone come in 2-3 days a week starting in February would be IDEAL. Budget and feel this out.

7. Profits up 30% minimum each year after this year. That is the shop only. I would like the website to catch up to the same sales the shop is doing by mid-2007.
Last year, our profits were down 200%. BUT, inventory went up by at least $20,000. Take this into consideration moving forward, it will reflect in your profits sooner or later. You have tangible goods that are paid for, in full. Let’s work on spending LESS on seasonal items and MORE on items that are:
1. Good for everyday use. (Home decor, jewelry, gifts)
2. Finding UNIQUE gifts that people can’t find anywhere else
3. Finding items with a better markup
4. Transforming normal items into more unique items with embellishments, ribbon etc. That added touch, 2 seconds and 30 cents of ribbon gives you a markup of at least a few dollars. Stop and think about it
5. Do research on wholesale items. Have things made in china or (?) so your markup is better. BE the middleman.

8. I would like to be here for the following occasions only: This came on a day where I had to deal with lots of b.s….
Open houses

Decorating for the major holidays

December, but only 5 days a week max.

January – June: I would only be here 2 days a week

July and August: I would only want to be here 1 day a week

September – November: I would only be here 3 days a week max.

Obvious situations that require my attention
I still like the idea that an employee (1, 2 or 3) would be in charge of the daily routine. I would like to be working on a wholesale business and getting more customers to my business instead of standing behind the counter all day. This is going to require budgeting, planning and being proactive on my part. Just because you have days off doesn’t mean you can hang out or be in bed in your p.j.’s all day. Manage money and time and you can be anywhere you want doing your business during the day.

The Website:

1. Build consistently and update constantly – I feel I have done this based on blogging. If you google our name, we are #2 or 3. If you google other things associated with the store, we come up a LOT. I’m happy with the progress so far but it definitely could use some more attention.

2. 400 customers with accounts by December 1, 2006 – I currently have 101 customers and about 80 orders since August, 2006.

3. Each customer will spend a minimum of $30 by December 15, 2006 – Each of those customers DID spend over $30, we just need MORE of them!

4. Kinks worked out, able to keep track of inventory, bookkeeping, shipping etc. – still working on this.

5. Have a partner for the website only. Figure out how this works. – Do not like this one. Website is mine, need employees to help.

6. Advertising in major magazines by January 1, 2007 – Has not happened yet, but I’m okay with that. I have found by flipping through the magazines that would suit us, that we all carry similar products. 80% of the ads WITH pictures were selling the EXACT same things as me and each other. I need a product and look that sets me apart. I’m a master merchandiser… so I have that on my side. Now, to find a 100% unique to ME product to sell. THAT is when advertising will benefit me in these magazines.

My Attitude re: the shop:

1. Happier to be here – Working with coach to find solutions on how to deal with difficult people and customers. Keep a positive attitude and positive journal to keep the motivation going.

2. Motivated to change displays and clean – This is a biggie during the summer. Perhaps I stay content with the displays after June 1st and leave them for the summer in order not to overwhelm myself. Find other things to do. Hire someone to clean since you hate it. Take your summers and work from home, do research, get your items ready for the “Big Show” of 4th quarter. You have consistently wasted those 3 months whining about how slow it is. Take charge.

3. Change the way I approach things to avoid being overwhelmed – Manage time better. Have a detailed calendar that you view DAILY with bills that are due. Don’t immediately spend that dollar when you have it. I think #1 in this is money and #2 is time management.

4. Change the way I communicate with the customers as to not get overwhelmed by their problems/sagas - working with coach on this. Get a book on body language. Stand tall, strong, shoulders back and not face to face with customers. Be busy, distract them, take them over to the new items… “Good thing we have all these pretty distractions to look at otherwise we’d stress ourselves out!”. Make light, change subject… walk them to the door. Get their energy out the door any way you can.

The IDEAL customer: Entire entry dedicated to this to follow. (write in a manner that is positive and past tense… like it has been done already)
1. Comes in and quietly wanders

2. Does not bump or clang items

3. Doesn’t ask too many questions

4. Purchases at least $50 worth of items

5. Has well-behaved children, if any

6. Gives me positive feedback and appreciates my time/smiling/wrapping etc

7. Does not use the bathroom

Reaching farther, wishes – do not use the term “wishes” anymore!:

1. To be published in a book or magazine featuring me and my art in a very positive light by summer 2007 - The universe gave me a little “hiccup” My name was published in a major magazine giving me photo credit. It’s a very tiny toe in the door. Work on this. I now have an IN for a book deal. USE THIS CONNECTION. Getting an employee = giving me the freedom to pursue larger things!

2. Go on a really good shopping trip and bring back enough treasures to sell and make profit on for at least a year – This did not happen, but I may want to rethink the whole vintage thing. Does it still sell? Re-evaluate. Possibly do the trip this August.

3. Silly, but power seller on ebay – Not silly. This shows that you are making at least $1000 a month and positive attracts positive. You can do this.

4. Beef up ebay sales, minimum of 100 items at any given time. 250-300 would be ideal – I reached those numbers in may 2007. I wasn’t selling a lot but I didn’t put a lot of energy into it. With an employee at the store, I can beef up my ebay sales.

5. More time to make things. More money for supplies. Easier to design, faster to produce. – I have at least one homeworker who is reasonably priced and makes awesome stuff that looks EXACTLY what I made. I’ve figured that I need about $2,000 to get her rolling and get a good business started. That isn’t that hard or too expensive.  Stop being compulsive. Plan this, it would be an AWESOME source of income!

Downward Spiral…

I’m spinning out of control. My anger is raging up inside of me and I just want to yell at everyone today. These customers, friends wandering in to “chit chat”. Can’t they see the boxes everywhere? Can’t they see the “SALE” going on? Can’t they see that the party is this saturday and this place is disheveled? Why do they ask for change? Why do their kids have the smallest bladders on the planet? Why do you think I’d want to wrap an item you got somewhere else for free? Why would i want to give you free advice on dog training, home decorating, gift giving, planning a wedding shower, how to deal with your in-laws or what to get an 80 year old woman who has everything and you want to spend $6.00 but it has to be super sentimental??

Is it my face? My chapped cracking lips that hurt? My lazy ponytail? WHAT?

I want to be left alone… I want to do something for me. I want some money to afford a new pair of pants or a massage. I want to have something tangible to show for the last 4 years of my sweat and tears.

plus: I found out more about myself and what I can tolerate and how to say no to people.

minus: I’m 55K in debt, I’m overweight and I’m pissed off all the time.

So… what now? What do I do? Who do I work for? start a wholesale line? do construction? what?!? I’m sick of customer service, I’m sick of these women… I hate people and their constant wants. If I get one more email from someone wanting something even slightly unreasonable, I’m going to throw a FIT. I don’t have a customer service department and I’m only one person.

Why can’t they be decent? tacky, obnoxious, sad people. At least lately… or it’s my attitude.

I don’t want to think about this or be proper… I’m just venting… I’m SO tired and irritated and my body just hurts. I’m eating poorly lately. Too much salt, fat, booze and caffeine and getting so little sleep… and every waking moment is spent on the store or cleaning up at home. All for other people. All of whom just want more and more… want to suck me dry until I have nothing to give.

I hate open houses and events now. They come, eat your food, want free shit and leave. Everyone who attends is a freeloader and not someone you want to actually GIVE something nice to… all the scum who search out free shit and just sponge…

I want this to all stop. Every sound, every itch… I’m so dry, hungry… tired…my eyes burn. sneezing…. then the toilet breaks. Then someone is in here loudly talking on their cell phone about home repairs. And I just want clean clothes. A bra that fits. 20 lbs off my being. heavy, smothered, overwhelmed, disappointed, embarrassed, ashamed… tired. Just so tired. No support, no love. No pats on the back, no “let me get your car washed for you and save you some time!”. Nothing. Everyone wants something from me. All the f-ing time. take take take, not good enough, take more, take take take. (I’m starting to sound like a crazy guest on Oprah).

The fleeing feeling is coming again. Liquidate everything… move somewhere and live on ramen and koolaid. Quiet. Alone. Soft. Cool. Breezy. Quiet.

I can usually handle chaos (you sure about that?) but today… I’m currently wet from fixing the plumbing, a/c isn’t working, spilled a soda, trash and shit everywhere… just surrounded by total chaos. Maybe there’s PMS in the air?

okay… with that said… out onto the floor to clean. one day until the party. hope I can make it