Store Rants

My shop had a heart and was a living breathing entity to me. It came to life the second we got the logo on the window. I could feel the energy it created every single day. I would whisper things to her when nobody was listening… and she would giggle back at me. I was thankful for every day I could be there, and for every time she would let me change things… she would let me know if I was doing the right thing. I could just feel it*. I don’t think anyone else quite felt the life and presence of this space like I felt it. It was almost like having a child. I’m sure that other store owners have experienced this… that’s why you see many businesses that have been around for decades and generations. I breathed life into a box… and she gave back to me like nothing else I have ever experienced.

Those who are naturally sensitive shared this experience when they came in that door. They would come in and silently wander around for hours, taking in every bit of it. Some would actually start crying. I didn’t have to ask… we just knew. The store and I were connected, and this connected me to so many other people. A silent and powerful bond that I miss so much.

A friend of mine who worked part-time at the store also understood the power of the store. She is currently looking for a location to start her own business. I don’t think she understands just how much is involved with running a store, but I wish her a lot of luck and I’m so excited to see the finished product. What kind of sweet soul will her four walls produce? What feelings will whoosh over me when I come in the door? Every little family business I’ve entered gives me a sense of a personality… an energy. Some more positive than others. But it is there.

Today it hit me… I defended, nurtured and was so proud of my store. And now it’s gone. The responsibility, headaches and liability are gone, too. But I never felt so alive, connected and aware of the pulse of my soul as I did when I was struggling to keep my business alive, healthy and thriving. I think the key word for me is connected. Connected to myself, to others… and awake and alive.

Sure, I had those who ran in and out in a hurried blur… many wanted to change the positive flow of the store by adding their negative soundtracks and petty drama. But so many “got it”. I can’t tell you how thankful I am for those who understood it. It was so much more than pretty little things with price tags…

Perhaps this comes from the female “id”. (Hormonal?) Or it comes from the fact that I’ve always been hyper-sensitive and can feel emotions to my core. I’m not sure. If any of you out there have had similar experiences, I’d love to know.

*I had a nosy neighbor who used to drive me nuts. We shared a wall on one side. If I was late and UPS had to deliver packages to her, she would actually put her clients on hold to scold me. She had a very specific and annoying way of looking at the clock, holding the phone to her shoulder and shaking her finger at me. Ahhh… I can picture it now. On her lunch break, she would loiter in my space and ask me questions about my life and business that I wouldn’t even share with my own husband. So, one day she came over as I was putting up wallpaper. “You were making so much noise, I thought you were going to come through the wall! Why do you change things around here so much anyway? How do you decide what to do? It seems like such a waste of time!” I told her that the store told me what it wanted and I did it. Really, I would think about it long and hard for a few weeks and it would just come to me, but I thought saying the store told me what to do was sweet. She took that as me being totally schizophrenic. Her body language changed, she looked upset, told me that just sounded nuts and she promptly left. I got less scoldings after that. I don’t know why that affected her so much, but at least I got some privacy for a while

pros and cons… re: owning/running a store

cons:

1. irritating customers (bell curve, so it’s just a few, but enough to want to hurt someone) and how they like to drain my lifeforce with their lame stories. Some stories aren’t lame, but I should be getting at least $75.00 an hour to talk to them about it AND no, I’m not an expert on “The Secret” and I do not have a person relationship with Jesus OR Oprah so I can’t help you with that, either.
2. If you don’t have a team of employees, when you’re sick, you don’t make a dime AND over the next few days you hear from every angry person who tried to come to the store the day of your illness… most made a “special trip” with a loved one that drove 42 hours in the snow to get here.
3. disgusting/nursing side: bathroom cleaning that requires industrial-strength bleach, fainters, barfers and the occasional child with an overactive bladder (If your child can’t “hold it” and has episodes of peeing all over themselves in public, wouldn’t you put little training pants on them? I’ve mopped up pee on the showroom floor twice so far and I’m trying to understand how this happens? These kids are like 7 or 8… so sad).
4. The bill collectors calling here and there. They are rude, they are mean… they have no soul and they use words like “deadbeat” and “big guy from collections coming to visit you”
5. The walk-in vendors… grr and drat! Although the one-armed man really has his game down.
6. The summer… no $, it’s hot in here… I get bored and start thinking of writing poetry involving unicorns and fuzzy things.
7. Cash flow in general – perhaps it’s me, but we don’t have enough of it. I get a dollar, I spend 98 cents.
8. Doing this all by myself and trying to keep up with all the hassles. Juggling the cleaning, merchandising, bookkeeping, customer service etc… while trying to stay sane.
9. Oh, did I mention that anyone can come in? This includes crazy relatives and bums.
10. No paycheck
11. The 3am calls that the alarm is going off. Need to run to your store in your underpants hoping that the merchandise is all still there. Nothing will get your heart pumping like driving to your store, which holds all your worth in merchandise form, to find a large window broken, cops parked out front and broken bits of teapot everywhere. Never a dull moment!
12. Human nature wants his fellow man to suffer and go down in flames… I get it a lot… “How are you doing here, it IS a bad location” or “I’m surprised you are still here, especially with George Bush in office (or the supermarket strike, the writer’s strike, the fires, the gas prices, the endangered spotted owl…).” There are so many reasons a retail store would or would not do well… the average customer wants to know everything about your store… but only if it’s negative. Again, it’s human nature… they want that Breaking News chock full o’ drama. Not to mention the other shop owners who visit incognito, in disguises, hoping to size you up and break you down. The worse part about them is that they know what buttons to push and all the right buzz words. “I’m noticing a lot of areas where shrinkage could occur… and your eye-level price per square inch margin is a little lacking… you might want to put some more items with a higher margin over here, but I would put them in a case because where they are now doesn’t go with the flow of the store”. I’ve also had people write reviews about the store and ME online… most of them are nice but you never know if it’s your judgment day… so be on your toes!
13. Landlord who could care less if the roof was coming in and the a/c from 1972 is spewing caustic gas. (There’s a post about that somewhere).

Pros:
1. creative freedom. If I want to spray paint a stuffed animal bright orange and leave it in the middle of the room, I can, dammit. This is my creative wonderland, and I’m really grateful for it.
2. freedom from a “boss” – although, the “boss” that chimes in (it’s the other voice in my head, you know, the mature one) can be quite rude. I make all the decisions, good or bad.
3. I get to merchandise the heck out of this place! I love that. I love creating little stages and having the freedom to do that whenever I want.
4. I get to say “I own a shop”. It’s the amercian dream… maaaannn.
5. I get to buy fun stuff! I love shopping trips and free samples. OH! and I get to wear a nifty badge!
6. This does make people happy. It’s like a mini-mini disneyland smack dab in a sea of auto body repair shops and multiple insurance offices. The contrast is quite obvious. Rarely does someone come in and say “wow, this place is ugly!” I receive amazing compliments all the time and on days when I get more than a few, it makes my heart sing.
7. This keeps me from getting a “desk job”. Want to watch the color leave my cheeks and joy leave my soul? Put me in front of a desk with a stack of papers to shuffle. Also, 9-5? no way. 10 to midnight on most days. But, I love it.
8. The reward of having a great busy day. My feet and legs hurt, my vision is blurred… but it’s awesome.
9. Sharing this experience with others. Almost daily, someone tells me how they would love to own a store like mine. My library of business books is stuffed with many “You go, girl!” books about the business of bliss or very technical “fill out this form” books. I have yet to encounter a book that tells you the scary details that I’m experiencing now. I would love to document it so others can learn from my stumblings.
10. I have learned more about myself in the last 4 years than I have in the last 30! I’m a tad more responsible and have grown up a lot. I have a college degree, but this experience goes way beyond any education I could have gotten… anywhere.
11. The friendships… I’ve met some AMAZING people!

Food for thought… consider yourself… documented.

This is a basic, petty vent…

just so I can get this out and let it go because it’s so f’ing petty…

AB-annoying broad with tightest bun I’ve ever seen
ME – duh

AB- “that flag is certainly effective! It brought me right in here! I made a U-turn and came back up! Do you sell that flag?”
ME- “thanks so much for stopping! We don’t have that flag but either store A or B down the street might have it”
AB – “Oh, I’ll have to go look… but I’ll look around here first! It’s darling! My name is Dorothy, what’s yours?”
ME – “uhhh… I’m Agnes… good to meet you”
AB – “You know, I serve up at st. dumb catholic church. We have a 10:30 mass, you should come!”
ME – nervous laughter
AB – Looks around… idle chit chat. Then she stops and picks up a pair of scissors I have sitting on a stepladder. (They are in the tool-caddy thing. It’s out of the way and I’m still working on a display, but it WAS on the showroom floor) *waving scissors pointy sides out furiously* “You know, I used to be a chaplain at a prison and you really shouldn’t have these lying around, it’s VERY DANGEROUS… wouldn’t you agree with me?!?!!!” She said… eyes bugging out.
ME – getting really angry… smiles and does the “so-so” gesture with my hand while saying… “uhhh….wellll ”
AB – Very annoyed with me now… says a few things and leaves.

Lame lame lame I know… but go back under that rock you crawled out from under. UGH. Okay, I can return to my happy manic mood now.